The Newest Member of the Family

Last Sunday we had a birthday.  My first-born son turned 10.  I now have two ten-year-olds.  And that is making ME feel old.

For his birthday he received quite a bit of money.  We told him he couldn't buy any new Wii games unless they were "active" games.  We also said no to lots of little toys.  He decided to save up for the new Hogwarts Lego Castle.  But then.....

....he remembered that he really, really wanted a chicken for a pet, but the military housing office won't allow 'undomesticated' animals (don't even get me started). 

The next best thing was a bird.  So we headed to the pet store and looked at parakeets and cockatiels.  We came home with this lovely little girl.  

Her name is Brittney.  She's a baby cockatiel.  She's really nice and is learning to "step up" and be held.  At times she is fiesty, but she's quickly becoming a boy's best friend.

He wants to thank all the grandparents who gave him the money.  He's very happy with his new bird.  And I'm happy that I'm not the only girl in the house!!!!

Does anyone know the cost.....

....of living more pioneer-like?

For instance, how much does it cost a year to raise enough chickens to provide eggs and meat for your family?

How much does it cost to plant, harvest and preserve enough food for your family through the winter?

How about a milk cow?  Beef cow?

My husband and I have been discussing what it would cost to "homestead" or live more simply.  Where can we find more information on the start-up costs and the yearly maintenance costs?

I know you can do things like make and use your own candles, laundry soap, shampoo, etc.  Make all your food from scratch, sew, quilt, raise bees.  But how much does it cost yearly to keep those things going?

And how much room does a family of 6 really need in a house?  We have 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, the biggest military house we've had yet!  Do we really need that much room though?  I think we could go smaller IF we lived on a bit of land so we could get outside.

Can anyone point me in the right direction?  How do I find this information out?

Withdrawal

I cancelled our Netflix.
I cancelled BrainPop.
I cancelled A+ Educational Video (an online rental for educational videos).

I am not a popular mom right now.
Apparently there is nothing fun to do in our house.
I didn't know it before, but now I do....everything is boring, boring, boring.
I've been voted the Worst Parent in the World Who Wants Her Kids to be Mad and Bored.
If we were on an island, I'd be voted off.

My house is really clean though.
Whenever they complain they earn the privilege of doing a chore.
Because I care.
And I don't want them to be bored.

They are reading a lot more now.
And we're playing a ton of games together.

Who knows what will happen next?
The DVDs are crying and trying to hide it a corner.
They know they're about to go.
The Wii is scared of me.
It should be.

What is beauty?

I read a wonderful talk by Douglas Callister entitled Your Refined Heavenly Home.  It touched my heart and made me truly desire for a more refined, beautiful home and an atmosphere that is more heaven-like.

There is one part, however, that I'm troubling over.  I've discussed it with my husband, but still cannot find a decision I'm happy with.

"We must not “let ourselves go” and become so casual—even sloppy—in our appearance that we distance ourselves from the beauty heaven has given us. Every man has the right to be married to a woman who makes herself as beautiful as she can be and who looks in the mirror to tidy herself up before he comes home. Every woman has a right to be married to a man who keeps himself clean, physically as well as morally, and takes pride in his appearance."


So, I'm guilty of "letting myself go".  I have long hair that I wear in a ponytail or bun every day.  I wear jeans and t-shirt and am more than a few pounds overweight.  But I've decided I want to change.  For myself.  


Every day I'm trying to do something to make myself more "beautiful" physically.  The other day I plucked my eyebrows.  Because I'm so loving, I won't include a picture of what they looked like before.  I'm also trying to wash my face and use good products to help my skin look more attractive.  And exercise is going to be my new best friend.


I'm trying.  I want to be a refined woman.  I want to feel like the daughter of God I know I am.


As I was discussing this with my husband, I asked for his definition of womanly beauty.  I wanted to know if it was "beautiful" to have a nice haircut, to wear neat and comely clothes, have lovely skin and be in shape.  Or did make-up need to be involved?  I'm not against make-up.  I actually have a lot of it (my sister-in-law is a Mary Kay consultant and I personally keep her in business).  But I don't have a lot of time and energy to use it right now.


Since my time is limited I wanted to know if using the 15 to 20 minutes it takes each day to put on make-up would be better used in exercising so that I am healthy and have a lovely girlish figure.  He replied that I should be able to do it all - exercise, fix my hair and wear make-up and that without the make-up it wouldn't be considered "beautiful".


I'll be honest and say that I ended up raising my voice at this point.  A part of me chafes that for a woman to be beautiful she must wear make-up.  A man is considered handsome without it.  Part of me is unhappy that I can't be considered "naturally cute" or whatever.  It's sort of like I'm not good enough unless I have it.  I should probably let you know that my husband is a wonderful man, and regularly tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful.  In fact his nickname for me is "Pretty".  But it still bothered me.


Can women be "beautiful" without make-up?  Can a well-dressed, physically fit, smiling woman be considered beautiful?  Has our society so indoctrinated us with artificial beauty that we can no longer appreciate natural beauty?  Or is all the make-up actually a part of refinement and loveliness?

Rewards

Have you ever noticed that most rewards are "stuff"?  Little junky toys from the Dollar Store, a certificate that will get crumpled, some knick-knack you have to find a place for and then dust for eternity.  Or food - cookies, candy, gum, doughnuts.  "You did a good job, now eat something really bad for you."

As I've worked on de-cluttering my home (and gotten rid of 75% of their toys) I'm less and less inclined to bring junk back into the house.  And we're working really hard on eating more wholesome foods so many "treats" are out.

Top this with the fact that we're really buckling down on learning chores, skills and responsibilities and my children can be heard to say, "What will I get?  What will my reward be?"  Oh, what an awful mother I am to have trained them thus!

I've been trying to find ways to motivate and encourage these new behaviors, without undermining the cleanliness of the home and health of the family.

Thus far we've used the Bean Jar and warm "thank yous."  We try to take the time to inspect the job done and provide lots of compliments and meaningful praise (not just "good job").  I'm also trying to give them an inner sense of satisfaction in that they are contributing to the peace of our home and helping to create Zion.  They don't really care about that though.  I'm also trying to show them the practical side of doing their work daily (and cheerfully) - they have more free time!  It took them 15 minutes today to pick up the play room, dust everything including the cleaning fan, and vacuum.  It used to take an hour or two.  They sort of get this, but it's still not enough for them.

I'm wondering if you all have any great ideas on how to reward, motivate, encourage, etc in meaningful ways.  Things that will teach, not just provide a temporary happiness.  Ways to find the deeper meaning in work and service and order.

Priorities

My internet friends and I have been having an interesting discussion on education and religion and how to mix the two lately.  In an effort to learn more about effectively teaching my children I've been reading a variety of wonderful articles.  The one I'd like to highlight today is from Julie Beck, the president of the Relief Society (the women's organization in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints).  You can read the talk here.

She introduces a way to prioritize your time and energy which I thought very profound and one that applies to all women, no matter their religious preference.

First, think of those things which are ESSENTIAL.  The things you need to do in order to be saved (whatever your definition of saved is).  Add to this the things you need to do in order to have your family be saved.  For my family it would look something like this - personal and family prayer and scripture study, attend my church meetings, live so I am directed by the Spirit that I may understand the will of the Lord.

Then add those things which are NECESSARY.  Cooking meals, cleaning the home, creating an environment where the Spirit would be welcome.  Learning skills of self-reliance and teaching my children (because I homeschool, that is a necessary here!)

The last category is NICE TO DO.  Reading a novel, going to lunch with friends, attending a movie and so on.

I still need to sit down and seriously work through my lists and what goes in each category but it is helping me to see what is truly important and what I can let go without guilt.  If it's not ESSENTIAL or NECESSARY then truly I do not need to worry.  Or lay in bed all night worrying that I didn't do enough or that I'm messing up everyone's lives.

Prepared Dictation

We're about to embark on the Prepared Dictation voyage. Here's how it works....

at about age 9 or 10 you have your child do prepared dictation once a week. They will look at a passage, paying special attention to how words are spelled. After a bit they close their eyes to see if they can remember how the words look. If they can't, they look again at the passage and try to "take a picture" of the words. It might help to trace the word on the table with their finger or to spell it out loud. After they are sure they know how to spell the words, ask them to look at the punctuation and capitalization. When they've had enough time to do this, you will begin the dictation.

Read the passage slowly, stopping after a few words so that the child can write easily. As they get older you'll be able to read longer passages, but at first keep it shorter. If they make a mistake immediately cover it up (Post-its work well for that) and have them continue. When they have completed the passage have them correct the mistake either on top of the Post-it or YOU erase it and have them respell it. You don't want them to look at the misspelled word because then their brain takes a "picture" of it and they have a hard time remembering the correct way to spell it. If you do this casually and without criticism the child won't feel 'bad' about getting things wrong.

I have prepared a "book" to help me do this. At first the dictation passages are short and in large print so the boys will have an easier time studying them. As they move further along the path, the passages become longer and the font reduces to more normal sizes. I've chosen to include several passages per page merely for the purpose of saving ink and paper. I intend to cover up the passages they are not working on so they don't get confused. I have noticed that many dictation books have one passage per page, but I was trying to be frugal here.  I have done my best to make sure paragraphs or quotes remain o n the same page.  For example, the beginning of the Declaration of Independence is several paragraphs long.  Two or three fit on a page, then I pushed the next paragraph to a new page so it would not be divided.  You can choose to have your kids do one paragraph at a time, or learn the whole thing (for older kids).

You could also use these lists for copywork. I have! I print them up and cut them out and stick them in my Copywork Jars. Every day the boys take out one or two strips of paper and copy them into their books. I'll post the other pages I've made for the Jars soon.

These lists would also make a great memorization tool.

One thing I want to do with dictation is to create a meaningful book of scripture, advice and encouragement. I've tried to keep all the quotes uplifting and worthwhile so that (hopefully) they will look back over this in years to come and find peace and guidance in the words.

I have prepared one file for with verses from the King James version of the Bible, with other quotes, etc and one for those who are LDS (Mormon).