I haven't posted for the last few days. I'm still raw. I hate it. I've had several recipe disasters lately which has me feeling demotivated to keep going. I can't tell you how awful it is to cook a meal for the kids, make a raw meal for me and hubby and then taste it and realize it's putrid...and then have to go back in the kitchen to try again.
The kitchen is my prison. I spend so much time there right now. I feel like the only thing I do, all day, is cook, "uncook" and wash dishes so I can do it all again in a couple hours.
Not to sound any more pathetic and whiny than I already do, but mealtimes are now a dreaded part of my day. I have actually spent the last two dinner preps crying the entire time. It's difficult to chop veggies with a sharp knife while tears are streaming down your face. Try it sometime. Okay, don't. It's dangerous.
The thing I was most unprepared for was how the whole diet change would affect me emotionally. Warm food calls to me, beckons me, mocks me and makes me sob.
My husband is encouraging me to continue. A part of me is grateful for that…..the other part is really angry. I want him to say it’s okay to eat comforting, delicious food again. I’m tired of eating weird tasting COLD food.
I want a steak.
I’ve lost around 7 pounds. That should encourage me. It does. Sort of. I’ve resigned myself to not enjoying my food for the next three weeks. In fact, I’m on a short of uncooking strike. I’m eating salads and drinking smoothies. All those fancy schmancy raw food recipes are just sitting on my counter gathering dust right now. Too many failed recipes. Too many ingredients wasted.
Have you ever noticed that most raw foodists are single? Okay, some of them are married, but they only have a designer dog. They’re not trying to prepare food for small children. They’re not trying to maintain a home filled with small children. Small children who need attention and who make messes. Not that my children would ever make messes. They would never take the entire bucket of Legos and dump it on the floor. Okay, they might. They did.
I need to go shopping tomorrow. It’s a serious debate for me whether I buy another week’s worth of “raw food”.
It cost over $230 last week.
That’s over HALF of my monthly budget.
That’s a lot of money.
And did I mention it’s gross?
Thanks for listening.
I will now go back to my normally scheduled happy mood.
After I eat a steak...