The State of Our Union

Last month I posted that I had taken away our various sources of online movies and movie clubs.  I also decided to put the TV in the closet.  And the Wii went with it.  It's been a month now....this is the State of the Union.


1.  The kids were rather put out the first few days and there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.  After that they rarely talked about it.


2.  The house is cleaner because we have more time to clean and because they earn the privilege of cleaning if they complain about the lack of TV or Wii.


3.  The boys are reading more.  A lot more.  One of the 10-year-olds is reading huge, gigantic books.  700+ page books in 2 days.  The other 10-year-old who HATES reading (what happened there?) is actually sitting down and reading books of his own free will.  He even told me the other day, "Since we don't have TV now I'm finding lots of great books to read."  


And the 6-year-old has discovered that HE can read books on his own.  He actually taught himself to read at 4, but has only read during the times we sit down with the express intent to read.  Lately he's been picking up books and reading them to himself.  But even better, he's asking his 4-year-old brother if he can read a book to him.  I find the two of them curled up on the couch many times during the day, with the older one reading to the younger.  How precious is that?????


4.  There is less fighting.  We used to have major fights many times a day.  I thought this was probably normal, having four boys and all.  Well, since the TV has been off we haven't had more than 3 or so fights for the month, and even those were little.


5.  Everyone is playing together.  Nicely.  It's been incredible to see them all playing together, including each other, helping each other.  The older boys are more patient with the younger ones and they do EVERYTHING together now.


6.  The house is quieter.  In a good way.  There is a feeling of peace and serenity now, instead of noise and confusion and loudness.  


7.  They do their schoolwork cheerfully.  In fact, they CHEER when I say it's time to do school.  It's a treat, a privilege, something to be valued now.


8.  They are much less anxious and stressed.  They used to hurry through their day, complain during school, worry about when they would be able to watch a movie or play the Wii.  It consumed their every waking thought and they were constantly asking when they could play, or planning what they would play, or acting out what they would play.  Now they just play, read, laugh, and don't worry.  It's like a huge load of concern/stress/worry has been lifted off their shoulders.


9.  We have had almost no behavior problems during the month.  One of our sons is famous for digging in his heels and refusing to do pretty much anything without a huge fight.  We've had one incident thus far.  They all are much more willing to help with chores, have better attitudes, are kinder to each other - pretty much any good thing  you can think of for "good behavior" and we've seen it.


10.  I'm spending more time with the boys.  I thought I read a lot to them....but I'm reading even more.  Instead of "checking out" in the afternoon because I was tired or feeling sick, I was "forced" to actually deal with my children, to parent them, instead of saying "Go watch a movie."  We read more, played more games, went outside more often, cooked together, drew pictures together, and just talked more.  We also spent more time organizing, cleaning and getting rid of stuff we don't need.


11.  We're listening to great music more often.  Because there isn't that constant noise in the background (either from fighting or the TV/Wii) I feel "up to" listening to music during our breakfasts and lunches.  Previously I just wanted some QUIET, so I rarely played music.  (Oh, I also go rid of every CD that wasn't classical or church music.  And a few kids songs CDs.  The rest has left the building.)


12.  Our days seemed calmer, less rushed.  We got more things done and had more free-time than we had previously.  It almost felt like we'd been given extra hours in the day.


My husband and I are discussing when and if the TV and Wii ever come back.  I've been so happy with the State of the Union, that I'm ready to get rid of them!!!!  We can always watch a select movie or two on the computer if we REALLY had to.  


And the Wii is just a trouble maker, in my opinion.  We originally got it so they could get some exercise during the scorchingly hot Texas summer days.  But they weren't getting that much exercise.  And if one boy was doing a "workout" while the others did schoolwork, well, those doing schoolwork always ended up in the room with the Wii and then they'd get in trouble, blah, blah, blah.  (The Wii Active workout is AWESOME, but I'm not sure I want to keep the huge TV and the Wii just for that.  All the other garbage comes with it then.)


The thing that concerns me most with the Wii though is how they obsess about when they'll get to play.  They count days, watch the calender, ask repeatedly about when they'll be able to play, plan what they'll play.  It's non-stop.  Instead of reading or playing they talk Wii ALL THE TIME.  It's been wonderful to hear them actually talking about other things, and doing other things.  If we kept the Wii "only for Saturday" they would (and have) spend all week waiting for it.  If the Wii was "once a month" all their time and energy would be spent waiting, planning, discussing, worrying about that one day a month.


So, we're trying to figure out where to go from here.  It's a hard thing to be different from everyone else.  To be the only people around without a TV or a video gaming system.  Peer pressure is an awful way to make decisions for my family....sadly it does play a part though.  


My husband and I are discussing phrases like "intentional parenting", "courageous parenting", "parenting is not a popularity contest", "creating a refuge from the world", "stand for what is right at all times and in all places" and others. 


I'll let you know what we decide.

Washington's Rules of Civility - Modern Day Interpretation - #1

As a family we are going to take George Washington's Rules of Civility and give them a modern day interpretation.  Well, as "interpreted" as 2 ten-year-olds and a 6-year old can get!  Most likely we'll work on one a week.  Here's the first.

1st - Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.

Do stuff that's nice. Don't do things unless you're called on.

You should show respect and you should also do what you're asked to do.  You should do what every else is doing (follow their example), unless what they are doing is bad.


You should do what you're supposed to do.  You should treat other people nicely.

Cheers, and prayers, for my mom

Today, Friday, my mom is defending her Master's thesis before a panel of professors.  She'll be able to revise it one more time and then SHE IS DONE!!!!!!  It's taken my mom a bazillion years to finish school.  Okay, not quite a bazillion, but close.  I think almost 20????  She's had to work full time while going to school and care for her family and serve in her church.  It's been a hard load.  But she did it and she didn't go crazy like we thought she would.  She even made the Honor Roll every semester.

So, today, I'm praying for my mom that all will go well with her professors.  And I'm so grateful she's finally done.

While I wish the road had been easier for her, and that she hadn't had to do so much, I'm proud of her for doing what she had to do, and doing it with dignity and quiet grace.

I love you mom.  Congratulations!!!!!  Now go get some sleep.

I cancelled Halloween

Remember how I took away Neflix and various other movies?  Well, I also put the TV in the closet so it's been unavailable for use during the month of September.  (More on that later)  Needless to say, my popularity plummeted even further.  Since I was already in negative poll numbers my husband and I decided to take it one step further.  Halloween is officially cancelled.

To be honest, I've never really liked Halloween.  There are a number of reasons for this.

1.  I've never liked the scary, gross, bloody costumes.

2.  I DO like the candy, but in a non-healthy way.  As in a "I eat too much of it and it's really bad for me" way.

3.  I also get seriously annoyed with the greedy, "give me" attitudes of trick-or-treaters.  Typically we do a Trunk-or-Treat in our church parking lot, but that means that each kid comes around 3 or 4 times, never once saying thank you or acknowledging me in any way, shape or form (okay, there are a FEW who do, but they are the exception).  I should probably be a grown-up in this situation and understand they are kids all crazy and under the influence of sugar and artificial coloring....but it still bothers me.

4.  We buy the GOOD candy, the delicious candy, the kind you'd buy for yourself to eat at home.  And my kids bring home GARBAGE.  (I was going to say another word....I didn't)  They seriously come home with the cheapest, grossest, most  yucky tasting and looking candy ever.  I grieve for the loss of my luscious Twix bars and gooey Milky Ways.  I also buy A LOT of candy because I feel personally responsible to make sure there is enough candy.  How's that for twisted?

5.  I'm trying to reduce the amount of sugar and artificial coloring my kids (and myself) eat.  Halloween does not help this.  It provides either several days of gorging or several month's worth of "one piece a day".  We don't need it.  My kids get all whacked and some of them even steal/lie about it.  It changes their behavior and attitudes.  Is candy SERIOUSLY worth crying about?  Or screaming, thrashing around and spitting on me about?  And I'm not just talking the 4-year-old.

6.  It's expensive.  I've kept track over the last few years and Halloween costs between $100 and $150.  FOR ONE NIGHT.  That is beyond ridiculous.  Aside from buying the "good" candy, we have costumes to pay for.  I make most of them, but material costs money.  And time.  Even getting costumes at thrift shops costs money.  Multiply that by 4 boys and it adds up.  I try to use clothes from their dress-up bucket, but most of the time they want something completely different than they've ever had.

7.  I don't even want to talk about the time I spend making costumes only to be told it's ugly, they don't like it, they changed their mind, etc.  It's not easy making four costumes (many late nights and pricked fingers)......

8.  This year I have 2 kids in braces.  Most of the stuff they'll get they won't be able to eat.

So, we're not going to the Trunk-or-Treat.  We're not going trick-or-treating.  We're not getting costumes.  I DID make a compromise though, since I've had some feedback from my husband that I'm being "too weird".  We are going to have a family party.  Each kid will get to choose what they want for dinner - so it will be a buffet of random favorites (right now we have pizza, chips & salsa and orange chicken on the menu).  They will get a small amount of candy, to be eaten at the Party.  And we're having a Family Wii Tournament.  It will be the first time they've seen the Wii in 2 months.

I expected all sorts of push-back, but they're actually quite excited about it.  Maybe it will become a family tradition.  Maybe being weird is okay....

Mookies

I hate to wash dishes.  Even more though, I hate to wash muffin pans.  I love to eat muffins.  I just hate to wash the pans.  I could use paper liners, but it seriously bothers me that so much of the muffin sticks to the paper, thus wasting a large portion of the muffin.

It's a lose-lose situation making muffins at home - either I have to scrub out each cramped little hole (several times because it never comes clean the first time) or I cry as I throw away half the muffin stuck to the paper.

Enter Mookies.  Many, many months ago I decided to try making muffins on a cookie sheet.  It worked.  My kids loved it.  Mostly because they thought I'd gone crazy and was feeding them cookies for breakfast. Clean up was a snap.  So much so that I gave away all my muffin pans!

I've used a multitude of recipes and almost all of them work beautifully.  If the batter looks really runny, I'll add a bit more flour.

We tried many names for this new creation.  Cuffins.  Cookins.  Muffie.  MuCookie.  Mookies stuck.

Sad news

My son would like me to let you know that our bird passed away on Friday.  It has been an extremely difficult time, but we've had some good conversations.

We only had her for two weeks and she had to go to the vet twice during that time.  The last time she was there for 4 days.  We brought her home Thursday night, and we found her dead Friday morning.  It has been harder than it needs to be because the pet store was exceptionally rude and made very unkind accusations.  It's made the grieving process difficult, especially for me.

We loved that little bird and she had the sweetest personality.  My 4-year-old is positive that Heavenly Father and Jesus are taking care of her and we'll get her back after the resurrection.  He is very concerned, however, that Heavenly Father will be sad without her, even though He has millions of birds, so "we're going to share".

The son who owned Brittney was watching some of our church leaders talk when he started crying.  He said that he understood then how Jesus had suffered for all our pain, that He even knew how it felt to have your pet die and "that Jesus knows how much I miss Brittney and how much it hurts."  I'm so glad he has the Atonement to help him through the sadness.

We've decided not to get another bird for right now.  We need some time.

My favorite smoothie

I've been drinking smoothies for a while now.  I love them.  My favorite one right now is made like this:

1 banana
1/4 to 1/3 chunk of beet
1 carrot (with the peel)
1 small carton Greek Gods honey yogurt
1 or 2 leaves kale
a handful or two spinach
3 or 4 leaves Romaine lettuce
about 1/3 c. frozen blueberries
about 1/3 c. frozen strawberries
about 1/3 c. frozen raspberries
about 1/3 c. frozen cherries
a small carton coconut water
1 large handful raw cashews
about 2 tbsp. flax seeds (I throw them in unground and the blender takes care of them)
about 2 tbsp. hemp nuts
a few ounces whole leaf aloe vera juice

Oh my delicious!  I'm feeling better and losing weight.  My husband doesn't like this recipe because he says it tastes "too beety".  I honestly don't taste the beet; I think the whole thing tastes yummy.  This makes about 2 quarts - I drink one for breakfast and one for lunch.

I will often switch out the "greens" depending on what I can find at the store that week.  I like collards, chard, kale, spinach, and romaine lettuce for my greens.  Cabbage is a bad idea - it doesn't blend well and ends up tasting chalky.

For my kids I usually make something sweeter.  They haven't fully embraced the smoothie revolution.

1 banana
1 pear
1 apple
about 1 cup frozen berries (a mixture of strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and cherries)
a small carton yogurt (usually a "red" flavor like strawberry or blueberry or cherry)
fruit juice
a small handful greens

We've made a deal that they'll allow me to add in smaller amounts of greens little by little.  So each day we add another leaf or two of spinach.

I use 100% fruit juice and Stonyfield yogurt which has no artificial colors.  I also keep the peels on the fruit.