I have 4 boys so potty-training has been, well, interesting. And each of them was very different so what worked for one kid did NOT work for another. Heaving a big sigh.....Some of them took much longer than others. Each did it in their own time though. And joyfully, it DID happen. Even during the most difficult times I would remind myself that most 18-year-old boys were potty-trained and my boys would be too...someday.
Today I just wanted to share a trick we learned with our youngest. He was 3-and-a-half-ish when we introduced underwear. His response, "No thanks. I'll just go potty in my diaper." We figured if he was old enough to think logically through the whole situation he was old enough to use the toilet. He didn't see it that way. We started a battle of wills. Not our best parenting moment, but it can really chap your hide to pay $80 a month for diapers when your child TELLS you he's just going to 'go' in them. (We tried Pull-Ups but those were just extra-colorful diapers to him.)
One day when my husband was feeling especially impatient, I took over and asked if our young son would like to wear underwear. No, he wouldn't. So I replied, "But underwear is fun to wear. It's FUNDERWEAR!" His little blue eyes sparkled....fun??...underwear was FUN to wear??? Well, he wanted anything to do with fun so he put those things on and was potty-trained within a few days.
To this day, a year later, he sings the little song I made up to go with it, "Underwear is fun to wear." He even calls them his Funderwear, or Fundies for short.
It's all in the marketing!
November 5, 2010
November 1, 2010
Our "Gratitude" Wall
We did have to make a rule that they couldn't name specific foods. After a while the wall looked like "pizza, cheese pizza, pepperoni pizza, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, Sprite, 7-Up, Root Beer....." It was almost like the only thing they ever thought about was food. Now that we're not constrained by the size of our blank wall, we are allowing them to express gratitude for whatever foods they want!
October 31, 2010
Things I've learned from this bout of illness
After my stint with pneumonia I had two days of good health and then I caught a cold that has hung on for over two weeks with no real sign of leaving any time soon. Two of my four sons have the same cold. Here are the things I've learned recently about colds.
1. Essential oils work to stop the coughing. I use doTerra oils (and sell them if you're interested). We used Breathe and Eucalyptus with great success. They'd be hacking up a lung at night and I'd go in, oil their feet and throats and they'd sleep quietly the rest of the night.
2. Eating raw garlic burns.
3. Placing raw garlic cloves between each of your toes and trying to sleep is rather painful. I made a valiant effort and woke up at 1:30am with aching toes. Once I pulled out the garlic my feet felt much better.
4. Eating raw garlic mixed with butter on bread only prolongs the pain. It still burns, only you get to enjoy each bite with the burn.
5. Even if you've lost all sense of smell and taste, raw garlic burns your mouth.
6. Even if you've lost all sense of smell and taste, others around you have not and they will think your breath is stinky. They'll even tell you to your face. And pretend to faint every time you walk by.
7. Warm apple cider with a whole lemon squeezed in and a plop of raw honey feels wonderful on sore throats.
8. Steam showers work for calming coughs and unclogging noses. So do steam baths with essential oils added.
9. Hot and Sour soup has wonderful healing properties. So does Chicken Noodle soup. It's been scientifically proven. Really. I alternate between the two. Although I have to get the Hot and Sour from a restaurant. Does anyone have a good recipe for making it at home?
10. Warm apple cider with a whole lemon squeezed in AND some ginger tea (make by boiling water and shredded ginger together) with honey also feels really good. It's a little spicier though.
11. Add cayenne to your chicken noodle soup for some extra healing power. If you have lost your sense of taste and smell you can add quite a bit. You know you've added too much when your tongue starts to burn.
12. You can keep your other kids healthy by making them do all the stuff the sick people have to do - eat the soups, put on the oils, go to bed early, etc.
13. Using On Guard (from doTerra) on the healthy boys feet seems to have helped in keeping them healthy since they are still healthy.
14. Drinking On Guard is truly disgusting. Peppermint oil though is great and eases the congestion.
15. Eating On Guard on crackers with honey and butter is even worse. I made my kids promise me that if I ever tried to get them to eat On Guard they were to run screaming.
16. You can make garlic oil to put on your feet and chest by cutting up some garlic and just barely covering it with extra-virgin olive oil. Let it sit for at least 2 hours, or a few days if possible. Cover the bottoms of your feet (and the top, right where the toes join the foot) and put on some socks. You can also spread it on your chest and throat, but your clothes might get greasy. Then pretend you live in an Italian restaurant because everything will smell all garlicy. Do not, however, lick anyone's garlic feet.
17. Sleep as much as possible.
18. You'll get better faster, or not even get sick in the first place, if you eat healthier. If you do get sick and start feeding your kids (and yourself) cold cereal for breakfast and lunch, they will get sick too. If your husband goes out for burgers or pizza or other such sundries every night because you're sick, and you, the sick person, eat it, you won't get better anytime soon. And everyone else will get sick. Don't fall back on junk food when you're sick.
19. Pray.
20. Pray some more.
1. Essential oils work to stop the coughing. I use doTerra oils (and sell them if you're interested). We used Breathe and Eucalyptus with great success. They'd be hacking up a lung at night and I'd go in, oil their feet and throats and they'd sleep quietly the rest of the night.
2. Eating raw garlic burns.
3. Placing raw garlic cloves between each of your toes and trying to sleep is rather painful. I made a valiant effort and woke up at 1:30am with aching toes. Once I pulled out the garlic my feet felt much better.
4. Eating raw garlic mixed with butter on bread only prolongs the pain. It still burns, only you get to enjoy each bite with the burn.
5. Even if you've lost all sense of smell and taste, raw garlic burns your mouth.
6. Even if you've lost all sense of smell and taste, others around you have not and they will think your breath is stinky. They'll even tell you to your face. And pretend to faint every time you walk by.
7. Warm apple cider with a whole lemon squeezed in and a plop of raw honey feels wonderful on sore throats.
8. Steam showers work for calming coughs and unclogging noses. So do steam baths with essential oils added.
9. Hot and Sour soup has wonderful healing properties. So does Chicken Noodle soup. It's been scientifically proven. Really. I alternate between the two. Although I have to get the Hot and Sour from a restaurant. Does anyone have a good recipe for making it at home?
10. Warm apple cider with a whole lemon squeezed in AND some ginger tea (make by boiling water and shredded ginger together) with honey also feels really good. It's a little spicier though.
11. Add cayenne to your chicken noodle soup for some extra healing power. If you have lost your sense of taste and smell you can add quite a bit. You know you've added too much when your tongue starts to burn.
12. You can keep your other kids healthy by making them do all the stuff the sick people have to do - eat the soups, put on the oils, go to bed early, etc.
13. Using On Guard (from doTerra) on the healthy boys feet seems to have helped in keeping them healthy since they are still healthy.
14. Drinking On Guard is truly disgusting. Peppermint oil though is great and eases the congestion.
15. Eating On Guard on crackers with honey and butter is even worse. I made my kids promise me that if I ever tried to get them to eat On Guard they were to run screaming.
16. You can make garlic oil to put on your feet and chest by cutting up some garlic and just barely covering it with extra-virgin olive oil. Let it sit for at least 2 hours, or a few days if possible. Cover the bottoms of your feet (and the top, right where the toes join the foot) and put on some socks. You can also spread it on your chest and throat, but your clothes might get greasy. Then pretend you live in an Italian restaurant because everything will smell all garlicy. Do not, however, lick anyone's garlic feet.
17. Sleep as much as possible.
18. You'll get better faster, or not even get sick in the first place, if you eat healthier. If you do get sick and start feeding your kids (and yourself) cold cereal for breakfast and lunch, they will get sick too. If your husband goes out for burgers or pizza or other such sundries every night because you're sick, and you, the sick person, eat it, you won't get better anytime soon. And everyone else will get sick. Don't fall back on junk food when you're sick.
19. Pray.
20. Pray some more.
October 20, 2010
Things they say outloud
We babysat my friend's two little boys Monday night while she was having her baby. Tuesday morning she came by (with her husband) to pick them up and brought her one-day-old daughter. And I got to hold her!!!!
My 4-year-old was sitting on the couch between us and he looked from the baby to my friend to the baby to my friend and back and forth for a bit. Then he looked at me with great confusion, "If _____'s baby is out, why is her tummy still fat?"
He looks at me and continues, "Are you SURE you don't have a baby sister in your tummy, mom? You're fat too."
Nice.
My 4-year-old was sitting on the couch between us and he looked from the baby to my friend to the baby to my friend and back and forth for a bit. Then he looked at me with great confusion, "If _____'s baby is out, why is her tummy still fat?"
He looks at me and continues, "Are you SURE you don't have a baby sister in your tummy, mom? You're fat too."
Nice.
October 15, 2010
My favorite things for teaching reading
I am by no means a reading expert, although I do like to read. And I've taught 2 of my 4 children to read - the 3rd taught himself when he was 4 so I'm not sure he counts in the total. Anyway.....
I have tried a number of reading programs/books and have finally found the ones I like best, the ones that work for my kids (all of them!) and the ones that are easiest for me to wrap my brain around.
1. Happy Phonics. This program contains mostly games. It follows a logical sequence and has a great little teacher's guide to help you understand which order to do things. My kids LOVE the games. Even after they have "graduated" from a game, they will go back years later and play them. The older boys are asking if they can play with the younger ones. Not only does the program work, the kids have good memories of it!
One of the things I like best is that because they are games, struggling readers are more willing to practice over and over. Reading (well, language in general) is very hard for one of my 10-yr-olds and Happy Phonics worked marvelously for him. We could go over the same sounds, in the game, over and over again and he wouldn't complain one little bit.
I did cut out and laminate all the cards so that the program would last longer...that took a while! But it has lasted for over 5 years now with one more boy to go.
2. Now I'm Reading Series by Nora Gaydos. These books work PERFECTLY with Happy Phonics. Each book focuses on a specific sound, or combination of them. The illustrations are fun and the text is silly. My boys love them and I don't mind hearing them read them over and over and over again.
I have used Levels 1, 2 and 3. By 3 a child could most likely start reading "easy readers" but Level 3 was specifically requested by my 6-yr-old so we're using them.
Each time the child reads a book they get to put a sticker in the front. Sadly, there are only 4 stickers per book and we've read them more than that. And now my youngest son won't have the coordinated stickers. I do wish you could order additional stickers.
The books (10 in a set) are kept in individual plastic sleeves, housed in a hardbound book. They are excellent for keeping all those small books together.
Updated to add: I love how the books build on words. For example, the first page might read, "A cat." The next page will be "A tan cat." The next will read "A tan cat sat." And it builds from there. It has really helped my boys with their confidence because they can read faster and they remember the words better.
I just read through Snack Attack with my 4-yr-old this morning and I noticed 2 of the books have characters that steal things and there is no remorse, repentance, punishment, nothing. Not so cool with that. I might have to go in and edit the book. Or pull them out. I haven't had that problem with the other books.
I'm working on a list of how Now I'm Reading correlates with Happy Phonics. I'll post that soon.
3. Starfall. It's an online program and it's free. I use this mainly when they are younger to help learn their letters and the sounds. As they progress there are some fun little videos and short games they can play. I consider this more of a supplement than an actual program, but it is well loved in this home.
4. Explode the Code workbooks. My kids will say they don't love these, but they do work. I wouldn't say this is "my favorite" but we keep using them because they have really helped them understand the language better.
And in case you are interested I tried the following without much success:
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
Phonics Pathways
Progressive Phonics
The Reading Lesson
various levels of Bob Books
Well, I should say we had success with one boy, and not much with the other. In every one of the above mentioned programs/books he hit a wall and couldn't get around it until Happy Phonics. I'm sure any of these books would have worked for the now 6-yr-old, but he heard us doing Happy Phonics so often that he learned to read on his own.
I have tried a number of reading programs/books and have finally found the ones I like best, the ones that work for my kids (all of them!) and the ones that are easiest for me to wrap my brain around.
1. Happy Phonics. This program contains mostly games. It follows a logical sequence and has a great little teacher's guide to help you understand which order to do things. My kids LOVE the games. Even after they have "graduated" from a game, they will go back years later and play them. The older boys are asking if they can play with the younger ones. Not only does the program work, the kids have good memories of it!
One of the things I like best is that because they are games, struggling readers are more willing to practice over and over. Reading (well, language in general) is very hard for one of my 10-yr-olds and Happy Phonics worked marvelously for him. We could go over the same sounds, in the game, over and over again and he wouldn't complain one little bit.
I did cut out and laminate all the cards so that the program would last longer...that took a while! But it has lasted for over 5 years now with one more boy to go.
2. Now I'm Reading Series by Nora Gaydos. These books work PERFECTLY with Happy Phonics. Each book focuses on a specific sound, or combination of them. The illustrations are fun and the text is silly. My boys love them and I don't mind hearing them read them over and over and over again.
I have used Levels 1, 2 and 3. By 3 a child could most likely start reading "easy readers" but Level 3 was specifically requested by my 6-yr-old so we're using them.
Each time the child reads a book they get to put a sticker in the front. Sadly, there are only 4 stickers per book and we've read them more than that. And now my youngest son won't have the coordinated stickers. I do wish you could order additional stickers.
The books (10 in a set) are kept in individual plastic sleeves, housed in a hardbound book. They are excellent for keeping all those small books together.
Updated to add: I love how the books build on words. For example, the first page might read, "A cat." The next page will be "A tan cat." The next will read "A tan cat sat." And it builds from there. It has really helped my boys with their confidence because they can read faster and they remember the words better.
I just read through Snack Attack with my 4-yr-old this morning and I noticed 2 of the books have characters that steal things and there is no remorse, repentance, punishment, nothing. Not so cool with that. I might have to go in and edit the book. Or pull them out. I haven't had that problem with the other books.
I'm working on a list of how Now I'm Reading correlates with Happy Phonics. I'll post that soon.
3. Starfall. It's an online program and it's free. I use this mainly when they are younger to help learn their letters and the sounds. As they progress there are some fun little videos and short games they can play. I consider this more of a supplement than an actual program, but it is well loved in this home.
4. Explode the Code workbooks. My kids will say they don't love these, but they do work. I wouldn't say this is "my favorite" but we keep using them because they have really helped them understand the language better.
And in case you are interested I tried the following without much success:
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
Phonics Pathways
Progressive Phonics
The Reading Lesson
various levels of Bob Books
Well, I should say we had success with one boy, and not much with the other. In every one of the above mentioned programs/books he hit a wall and couldn't get around it until Happy Phonics. I'm sure any of these books would have worked for the now 6-yr-old, but he heard us doing Happy Phonics so often that he learned to read on his own.
October 11, 2010
Defending the size of my family
Do you often feel like you need to "defend" the size of your family? I do. And there aren't that many of us!
Either I'm dealing with nasty looks or comments like "Oh, you're having ANOTHER one" (said when pregnant with my 3rd) when I'm out and about with my four boys or I'm trying to explain why I ONLY have four kids. I either have too many or not enough. I can't win!
I wonder sometimes why I feel like I have to defend my choices. I also wonder why people ask the most impertinent questions and seem to feel entitled to very personal information. In asking questions about my adoption one woman asked if I was raising my husband's illegitimate son from an affair he had had. Uh, NO. There was no affair. Just an adoption. Why jump to such crazy conclusions?????
One of my sisters is unable to have children of her own. She has endured years of people asking hurtful, personal, unthinking questions. Why do we do this to each other? Why do I feel like I have to tell everyone I can't have more children for medical reasons? Why can't I just be content and tell people to mind their own business? Why don't they mind their own business? Why don't I?
One of the things I struggle with in defending my "large" family is the question of courtesy. Let's say we want to buy a snack. We go and stand in line and wait 10 minutes or so. We finally get to the front and there is a single person behind us. Do we let them go first? Do we order and make them wait? How about at the grocery store when I have my cart LOADED with two weeks worth of groceries and I'm about to put them on the conveyor belt. I notice a person behind me with half a cart. Should I let them go first?
My husband and I debate this all the time. He calls it courtesy to let the single person (or several single persons or smaller families) go first. I claim that if I stood in line and have "done my time" I should not feel pressured to stand aside. I also don't want my children feeling like we have to apologize for having four kids. That because we 'have so many people' in our family that we need to feel like we're a burden and thus let others go first. I constantly wrestle with being 'thoughtful' to those around me and helping my children feel that they are just as valued and important as those with fewer (or no) kids.
Am I even making sense? For the record I like to let old people and pregnant women go ahead of me in almost any situation. But what is the proper thing to do in other situations? Why is buying a Slurpee such a moral dilemma????????
Either I'm dealing with nasty looks or comments like "Oh, you're having ANOTHER one" (said when pregnant with my 3rd) when I'm out and about with my four boys or I'm trying to explain why I ONLY have four kids. I either have too many or not enough. I can't win!
I wonder sometimes why I feel like I have to defend my choices. I also wonder why people ask the most impertinent questions and seem to feel entitled to very personal information. In asking questions about my adoption one woman asked if I was raising my husband's illegitimate son from an affair he had had. Uh, NO. There was no affair. Just an adoption. Why jump to such crazy conclusions?????
One of my sisters is unable to have children of her own. She has endured years of people asking hurtful, personal, unthinking questions. Why do we do this to each other? Why do I feel like I have to tell everyone I can't have more children for medical reasons? Why can't I just be content and tell people to mind their own business? Why don't they mind their own business? Why don't I?
One of the things I struggle with in defending my "large" family is the question of courtesy. Let's say we want to buy a snack. We go and stand in line and wait 10 minutes or so. We finally get to the front and there is a single person behind us. Do we let them go first? Do we order and make them wait? How about at the grocery store when I have my cart LOADED with two weeks worth of groceries and I'm about to put them on the conveyor belt. I notice a person behind me with half a cart. Should I let them go first?
My husband and I debate this all the time. He calls it courtesy to let the single person (or several single persons or smaller families) go first. I claim that if I stood in line and have "done my time" I should not feel pressured to stand aside. I also don't want my children feeling like we have to apologize for having four kids. That because we 'have so many people' in our family that we need to feel like we're a burden and thus let others go first. I constantly wrestle with being 'thoughtful' to those around me and helping my children feel that they are just as valued and important as those with fewer (or no) kids.
Am I even making sense? For the record I like to let old people and pregnant women go ahead of me in almost any situation. But what is the proper thing to do in other situations? Why is buying a Slurpee such a moral dilemma????????
Washington's Rules of Civility #2 - Modern Interpretation
Washington's Second Rule of Civility:
2d When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usualy Discovered.
Modern interpretation by two 10-year-olds and a 6-year-old:
Don't touch your privates or do anything gross with your body like pick your nose. You shouldn't touch parts of your body which are covered by clothes when you're in public - pick your toes, scratch stuff, things like that.
2d When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usualy Discovered.
Modern interpretation by two 10-year-olds and a 6-year-old:
Don't touch your privates or do anything gross with your body like pick your nose. You shouldn't touch parts of your body which are covered by clothes when you're in public - pick your toes, scratch stuff, things like that.
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