One of the hidden benefits of homeschooling

The other day, one of my 11-year-olds was having a rough day.  

He threw himself on the couch and declared, 

"I'm so mad I could cuss."  

He paused for a moment, then said, 

"I don't know any swear words."

Hit the Reset Button on Your Day

There are times when things just aren’t working right, when children (and mommies) are grumpy, when the best laid plans crumble before your very eyes in the form of a screaming child or a stubborn pre-teen.  Yes, some days you wish you could just send everybody back to bed so you can wake up and try again.  Or maybe just stay there for a bit.

I recently read a fantastic blog post  which detailed 20 ideas for how to “reset” your day.  To her amazing ideas, I’ve added a few of my own below.

Chuck it all and go for a Nature Walk.  Go for a 10 minute walk or for a 3 hour hike.  You’ll be learning while you relax.  Bring some magnifying glasses, binoculars and field guides if you can.

Tell the Never-Ending Story.  At least that’s what we call it.  One person starts and goes for a minute or two then turns to the next person and they have to continue the story.  After a minute or two they turn to the next person and you keep passing the story around until you’ve all laughed a bit and are ready to move on with the day.  Sometimes you need to set rules like “no killing the character” or “no kissing”.

Read a picture book or two to everyone.  Even my big boys still love picture books. 

Everyone grab a book and read quietly for a certain period of time.  Even mom gets to read what she wants!  This can be tricky if you have littles, but they can quietly look at picture books during this time.

Build something together.  Dump out (or provide a bucket filled with) Legos, blocks, K’nex or Citiblocs, etc.  Everyone works together to build something.  Then knock it down and put it away.

Play the Alphabet List game.  Choose a category like food, animals, book titles, etc and name something for each letter of the alphabet.

Crazy Walk.  This can be done with or without music.  Direct them to walk slowly, backward, forward, like a monkey or a cat.  Big steps, baby steps, crawl, hop, whatever.  Have them follow the tempo of the music or, if you’re doing it without, just change when you direct them.

Don’t Spill the Water or Break the Egg – this should be done outside.  Give them a full cup of water and have them walk a line (taped or natural in the yard or on the sidewalk) or go through an obstacle course, without spilling water.  Alternately, have them hold an egg on a spoon and walk from Point A to Point B without dropping it.

Balloon Volleyball – Blow up a balloon and everyone tries to keep it off the ground by hitting it before it bounces.  To make it more challenging add 2 or 3 balloons.

Read a 2- or 5-Minute Mystery.  There are several free sites on the web with ideas for this, or you can purchase a book. 

Only Questions – Have everyone stand in a circle.  One person points to another and asks a question.  That person must point to someone else and ask a question.  Keep going until someone answers or says ‘uh’ or takes too long.

I Love You, Honey – Have one person stand or sit in front of the group.  One by one, each person stands before the person in front and says, “I love you, honey, won’t you please smile?”  The person in front has to respond, without smiling, “I love you honey, but I just can’t smile.”  The object is to get the “honey” to smile so use silly voices, crazy faces, etc.  Whoever can get the person in front to smile, becomes the new “honey”.

Pick a project from Nature in a Nutshell or Science In Seconds.  They are usually easy, short and use common items.

Play a game of Pick and Draw. 

Play with some homemade play-dough.

Use the table or floor and build a giant picture with pattern blocks.  Everyone contributes to the design.

Kid History

Just wanted to pass on some videos that my children LOVE. This is the first one, but there are 6 in total so make sure you watch them all (each of us thinks a different one is the best). Before you watch you need to know this....some brothers in their 30s asked their kids/nieces/nephews to retell some stories about their dads/uncles lives and then the adults acted out the stories. FACT - it's hilarious. And as an aside, my husband and I have been laughing our heads off about #6 where the mom cooks healthy foods and says to her poor kids, "Here are your perfectly normal pancakes....You'll never taste it!" Oh, the times I've said that to my dear children...

Sing what you hear

The other morning my two youngest sons were sitting at the table singing about 'nasty nachos'.  For a brief moment I thought they'd listened to some horrid rap music and were trying to mimic what they'd heard.  I questioned my husband on this and he started laughing.  He'd been playing the Marriage of Figaro and they were singing what they heard.

At first I thought it was a terrible way to introduce them to opera.  They would never appreciate the true beauty and power of the music.  They would think it silly.  I changed my mind, however, as I heard them ask to listen to it over and over.  As I saw them crowd around the computer with big smiles on their faces.  And as I watched them laugh and laugh over what they heard.  Here are some examples:

Nasty nachos

Oh pajama!

Hot dog protector

Spaghetti

Potato

Mozart may or may not be mortified at this introduction to his opera.  On the one hand he took his music very seriously.  And on the other he had a rather quirky sense of humor.

For now, my kids are interested in listening.  They find it enjoyable.  And I hear them humming the music around the house and singing what they hear.

Marriage of Figaro (also known as Mozart’s Wedding by my 7-year-old)

Act 3 Ecco La Marcia

A prayer from my 10-yr-old

Last night one of my 10-yr-olds was praying.  Here is a small excerpt:

And please bless the countries in the Middle East that they can get a better government and have freedom.  And bless the people of the United States that they will make better choices so America can get back to normal.

A conversation with my 4-year-old

I was standing in the kitchen, making dinner, when my four-year-old walked in.


"Mom.  Do you love everyone in the whole world?"


"Yes," I replied, "I love everyone in the whole world."


"But not Satan.  Right, mom?  You don't love Satan, do you?"


"Right.  I don't love Satan," I said.


"Mom.  God said to love your enemies."  And he turned and walked out of the room.

I'm a broken record

About two years ago we decided that we weren't going to "do snacks" anymore.  I didn't feel good about feeding them crackers and cookies and other processed snack foods.  And the cost added up quickly with four boys who would eat an entire box of crackers in one sitting and STILL be hungry.

So we made a "fruit" rule.  If they are hungry they can always have fruit. Any time of the day.  Fruit is the answer.  You wake up early in the morning, and you're hungry before breakfast, have some fruit.  You want a snack before lunch?  Have some fruit.  Feeling hungry around 3pm?  Have some fruit.  Going to bed and want to top off the tank?  Have some fruit.  I figured if they ate fruit and were too full to eat a good lunch, oh well.  They got full on fruit. 

For TWO YEARS when they say they're hungry I tell them to eat fruit.  AND THEY STILL KEEP ASKING. 

It's like they're hoping I'll have a fit of insanity and say,

"Oh, you're hungry?  Eat this bag of Doritos then have a gallon of ice cream."

You can tell which of my kids were little when this started.  The 10-yr-olds fight me the most on fruit and one will just walk away and eat nothing (which I think means he wasn't really hungry in the first place, just looking for a sugar fix).  The 7-yr-old eats fruit fairly well.  The 4-y-old eats mainly fruit (and all varieties) and we have to work really hard to get him to eat anything else.

This is how I handle The Stocking of the Fruit -

fruit bowl filled with apples and pears - always

clementines or mandarin oranges - if they don't cost a fortune

bananas - always - usually 3 bunches a week

grapes - whichever color has a good price that week

baby carrots - it's not a fruit, but the same principle applies

persimmons - depends on price

pineapple - cut into chunks, once or twice a month

watermelon (or other melons) - once or twice a month

berries - whenever I can get a good price

lettuce & spinach - they know how to make their own salads and they do (don't fight me on the "it's a vegetable thing" - it still counts in the Have Some Fruit campaign)

I have been providing unsweetened applesauce, but have decided to stop that.  I'm going to teach them how to make applesauce in the blender instead.  How could they possibly resist the power of the Blendtec?

Now, what fruits or easy-to-serve vegetables am I missing??????

Playstation Nation

My husband and I are having conversations right now about whether or not we keep the Wii.  And if we do, how do we use it.  But first, let me tell you how we got to the point where we're thinking of removing it.

It all started when we moved to Texas.  We'd never had a gaming system before, but our boys were getting older and we felt that they were 'missing out' on something.  We originally decided to get them a trampoline, but the summers here are scorching hot, so it wouldn't have been used for 6 months out of the year.  And in base housing, sometimes you have room for one, sometimes you don't.  (Then there's that nasty 'weight limit' when they move you and tramps are heavy.)  We thought, "A Wii would allow them to stay active in the house during the hot months and it would be a fun activity to play with their friends."

So we bought one.  At first we only allowed 'active' games and they had to stand to play it.  I'm not sure how it happened but after a while we had some Lego games - to play you just stand there and move your guy from place to place.  No real physical movement or logic involved.  And when their friends came over they all just stood in the room, playing a game and not talking.  It was like a room full of zombie kids.

There began to be fights.  Major fights.  "He hogged the Wii.  He didn't share."  There was name calling and put-downs.  Sometimes they would play all day and I'd find out they hadn't let one brother have a turn.  It became an obsession for them, how much time could they play?  They were constantly talking about it, begging to play it, crying if they couldn't.  All their imaginative play was based on the computer games they played.  No more knights or heroes or soldiers or whatever.  Only Wii characters.  All the time.  I often found them just sitting in a room discussing "plans" for the next time they got to play.  And they were ALWAYS asking to play.

Sadly, it became a crutch for me.  When I was sick or tired, or both, I'd tell them to go play the Wii.  It was too hard for me to deal with all the whining and begging while laying in bed wanting to throw up or pass out.  Part of why we're discussing getting rid of it is based on my own weakness to rely on it as a babysitter.

So, as I started to think about it my friend Misty over at Misfit Cygnet recommended that I read Playstation Nation by Olivia and Kurt Bruner.  When I got it in the mail my boys were so excited - 'Mom has gone crazy and now she's going to get us a Playstation'.  They were less than happy when I told them what the book was really about!

Playstation Nation talks about video game addiction and what parents can do.  The authors use examples from their own family and interviews with many other people.  They also discuss many of the studies done about video games and their effect on emotion and behavior, including what actually happens in the brain.

I enjoyed the stories and interviews very much, but I especially appreciated the 'science' behind it.  I had already seen what it could do so it was chilling to understand what was going on in their little brains, and the damage it might be causing.

I went into the book thinking we'd just limit the amount of play, an hour a day or maybe one day a month.  One particular man quoted in the book said that he wished his parents had just gotten rid of it, because even though he could only play once a month or so, he still thought about it, it consumed his thoughts even if he wasn't playing it or talking about it.  I don't want video games to 'consume their thoughts' (which I had already seen that it did) and this made me think deeply about what I truly wanted for them.

After reading the book, and observing my own children's behaviors, I'm convinced that the Wii needs to leave our home permanently, never to be replaced by anything else.  My husband is not so convinced.  I've asked him to read the book, which he agreed to, but hasn't had time yet.  One of his main arguments is that "it's fun".  Well, many people would argue that taking drugs, sleeping around and drag racing are fun, but that doesn't make it right.  He has also expressed concern that "we spent money on it" so it would be a waste to get rid of it.  I countered with, "If you made a mistake, you correct it and move on.  If you give up drinking but have a year's supply of beer in the house, you don't need to keep drinking it until it's gone.  Get rid of it!"  And he's worried that the kids will feel deprived or weird because they're one of the few without a gaming system.  I worry that they'll grow up addicted, unmotivated, unproductive and consumed with unimportant worldly things.  (Reading the book Boys Adrift further convinced me that this most probably would happen.)

At the moment we're at an impasse, but we've decided to not let them play until we make the decision.  The first bit was rough, but now they are playing imaginatively again, reading books, going to the park, riding their bikes and most especially, the tone of our home is calmer and more pleasant.  We don't have multiple screaming or crying fits a day.  No more nagging me then lashing out because I said no.  They are doing their school work independently if I'm sick or playing with their younger brothers or reading to them - they're using their time productively.  Without complaint.  The noise level has dramatically dropped.

We did let them play one day (on Halloween instead of trick-or-treating) and it took almost 2 weeks for them to stop asking to play, complaining, crying, or yelling about not being able to play.  Now, peace has been restored and I don't want to interrupt it again!

My 4-yr-old is funny

The other day he told me, "I'm the boss of me.  So I'm going to tell you what you're going to do for me."

To understand the following you need to know that my husband speaks Hebrew and the boys call him Abba, instead of dad.  Tonight the 4-yr-old was discussing the fine art of making guacamole.  He wanted to know if there were "mama-cados".  Because obviously you make guacamole with "abba-cados".

He also tried to insist that he get two bags of fruit snacks because "only one side of my mouth got to eat them and the other side is so sad."

Last Child in the Woods

My mother and I were talking the other day (we do that sometimes) and she mentioned that she had just finished an interesting book about nature-deficit disorder and the importance of getting kids outside.  She graciously mailed her copy to me and I just finished it a few days ago.

Written by Richard Louv, this book discusses why we need nature, what has happened to create the disconnect between children and nature and what steps we can take as parents, and as a community, to change this.

It was a fascinating read.  He presented several studies to support his ideas, but most of the information was anecdotal.  I felt that while it was well-written, the language is just a little too scholarly which makes it inaccessible to the average parent or community planner.

As I read the book I kept wanting to give a copy to the housing office so they would see the importance of allowing free, open play spaces instead of small playgrounds.  I wanted them to relax their rules about building forts and treehouses and allow us to walk in the "undeveloped" areas.  But I knew the language of the book would stop them from reading it and/or understanding it.

Many of the author's ideas, and those of the experts he interviewed, are a little 'out there'.  I do not see our society embracing, or even accepting, a move to a planned rural community where everyone has their own garden and each person works to support the needs of the community.  We're not there and we are not moving in that direction.

I have seen my children become more calm, more cheerful, more talkative as we spend more time outside.  Each of them, at different times, have told me how much they love to be outside, how it helps them feel calm and that they love to "get away from it all."  They seem more grounded and more at peace the more time we spend outside.  My house is also cleaner since they aren't around to mess it up!

I took away the following ideas I hope to implement in our family:

1.  More time outside.  Lots more.  And try to spend time outside in different weather.  Just because it's raining doesn't mean they shouldn't go outside.

2.  Try to find natural spaces for them to explore.  This is hard.  We live in a planned community and the trees are 1-year-old (tiny little things).  We also live in West Texas and there are no forests, no beautiful green places, nowhere to hike or explore.  It's mostly cacti, and cacti and a few more cacti.  We are searching out places though and are trying to learn to appreciate the beauty of where we are.

3.  Learn to identify the plants, trees and animals in our local area.  As Louv pointed out kids know more about the rain forest than they do about their own backyard.

4.  Allow them opportunities to interact with nature.  I'm the kind of mom that tells them not to pull leaves off trees or pick flowers or move rocks to look for bugs.  "Leave no trace" is my motto.  Well, I'm trying to change that.  We're pulling acorns off trees and peeling them apart to see what's inside. We're opening seed pods and digging in the dirt.  We're touching and feeling and smelling.  As much as possible we try to do minimal damage, but I want them now to know nature, not just know about it.

5.  Continue with our nature study.  The author expressed concern that there is a shortage of people who can teach geology, biology, and other 'nature' type classes.  I want my boys to have that knowledge, whether they use it professionally or not.  We're slowly building a library of natural science books and investing in tools like magnifying lenses, microscopes, binoculars and such.

6.  Plan for nature experiences.  I've found that if I don't plan on taking them on a hike or camping or to 'be' outside, then it doesn't happen.  We are now putting it on the calendar.  On this day we WILL go to the river or into the wash or whatever.  This also creates an anticipation which makes the experience more magical.

Overall I highly recommend this book.  The language can be a little stiff, but it's worth slogging through.  It's a fantastic motivator for overcoming any hesitations you might have about getting outside.

Funderwear

I have 4 boys so potty-training has been, well, interesting.  And each of them was very different so what worked for one kid did NOT work for another.  Heaving a big sigh.....Some of them took much longer than others.  Each did it in their own time though.  And joyfully, it DID happen.  Even during the most difficult times I would remind myself that most 18-year-old boys were potty-trained and my boys would be too...someday.

Today I just wanted to share a trick we learned with our youngest.  He was 3-and-a-half-ish when we introduced underwear.  His response, "No thanks.  I'll just go potty in my diaper."  We figured if he was old enough to think logically through the whole situation he was old enough to use the toilet.  He didn't see it that way.  We started a battle of wills.  Not our best parenting moment, but it can really chap your hide to pay $80 a month for diapers when your child TELLS you he's just going to 'go' in them.  (We tried Pull-Ups but those were just extra-colorful diapers to him.)

One day when my husband was feeling especially impatient, I took over and asked if our young son would like to wear underwear.  No, he wouldn't.  So I replied, "But underwear is fun to wear.  It's FUNDERWEAR!"  His little blue eyes sparkled....fun??...underwear was FUN to wear??? Well, he wanted anything to do with fun so he put those things on and was potty-trained within a few days.

To this day, a year later, he sings the little song I made up to go with it, "Underwear is fun to wear."  He even calls them his Funderwear, or Fundies for short.

It's all in the marketing!

Our "Gratitude" Wall

Last year we decided to document what we were grateful for every day, for a month.  We started on Thanksgiving day and went until Christmas day.  I cut circles out of construction paper and every night at dinner each person told what they were thankful for.  The boys really enjoyed it and it was a wonderful exercise for them to see how truly blessed they are.  They loved it so much that we left the circles up for months afterwards.  The boys read them often and so did the visitors to our home.  It was such a huge hit that they asked to keep doing it, but my husband was tired of having a wall that looked like a weird chemistry molecule so we purchased a nice journal and are writing down what we are thankful for in the book.  Unfortunately, it's harder to remember to do this because I don't have a huge visual reminder like the wall.  I'm hoping to create the habit though so we'll keep plugging along.

We did have to make a rule that they couldn't name specific foods.  After a while the wall looked like "pizza, cheese pizza, pepperoni pizza, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, Sprite, 7-Up, Root Beer....."  It was almost like the only thing they ever thought about was food.  Now that we're not constrained by the size of our blank wall, we are allowing them to express gratitude for whatever foods they want!

Things they say outloud

We babysat my friend's two little boys Monday night while she was having her baby.  Tuesday morning she came by (with her husband) to pick them up and brought her one-day-old daughter.  And I got to hold her!!!!

My 4-year-old was sitting on the couch between us and he looked from the baby to my friend to the baby to my friend and back and forth for a bit.  Then he looked at me with great confusion, "If _____'s baby is out, why is her tummy still fat?"

He looks at me and continues, "Are you SURE you don't have a baby sister in your tummy, mom?  You're fat too."

Nice.

The State of Our Union

Last month I posted that I had taken away our various sources of online movies and movie clubs.  I also decided to put the TV in the closet.  And the Wii went with it.  It's been a month now....this is the State of the Union.


1.  The kids were rather put out the first few days and there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.  After that they rarely talked about it.


2.  The house is cleaner because we have more time to clean and because they earn the privilege of cleaning if they complain about the lack of TV or Wii.


3.  The boys are reading more.  A lot more.  One of the 10-year-olds is reading huge, gigantic books.  700+ page books in 2 days.  The other 10-year-old who HATES reading (what happened there?) is actually sitting down and reading books of his own free will.  He even told me the other day, "Since we don't have TV now I'm finding lots of great books to read."  


And the 6-year-old has discovered that HE can read books on his own.  He actually taught himself to read at 4, but has only read during the times we sit down with the express intent to read.  Lately he's been picking up books and reading them to himself.  But even better, he's asking his 4-year-old brother if he can read a book to him.  I find the two of them curled up on the couch many times during the day, with the older one reading to the younger.  How precious is that?????


4.  There is less fighting.  We used to have major fights many times a day.  I thought this was probably normal, having four boys and all.  Well, since the TV has been off we haven't had more than 3 or so fights for the month, and even those were little.


5.  Everyone is playing together.  Nicely.  It's been incredible to see them all playing together, including each other, helping each other.  The older boys are more patient with the younger ones and they do EVERYTHING together now.


6.  The house is quieter.  In a good way.  There is a feeling of peace and serenity now, instead of noise and confusion and loudness.  


7.  They do their schoolwork cheerfully.  In fact, they CHEER when I say it's time to do school.  It's a treat, a privilege, something to be valued now.


8.  They are much less anxious and stressed.  They used to hurry through their day, complain during school, worry about when they would be able to watch a movie or play the Wii.  It consumed their every waking thought and they were constantly asking when they could play, or planning what they would play, or acting out what they would play.  Now they just play, read, laugh, and don't worry.  It's like a huge load of concern/stress/worry has been lifted off their shoulders.


9.  We have had almost no behavior problems during the month.  One of our sons is famous for digging in his heels and refusing to do pretty much anything without a huge fight.  We've had one incident thus far.  They all are much more willing to help with chores, have better attitudes, are kinder to each other - pretty much any good thing  you can think of for "good behavior" and we've seen it.


10.  I'm spending more time with the boys.  I thought I read a lot to them....but I'm reading even more.  Instead of "checking out" in the afternoon because I was tired or feeling sick, I was "forced" to actually deal with my children, to parent them, instead of saying "Go watch a movie."  We read more, played more games, went outside more often, cooked together, drew pictures together, and just talked more.  We also spent more time organizing, cleaning and getting rid of stuff we don't need.


11.  We're listening to great music more often.  Because there isn't that constant noise in the background (either from fighting or the TV/Wii) I feel "up to" listening to music during our breakfasts and lunches.  Previously I just wanted some QUIET, so I rarely played music.  (Oh, I also go rid of every CD that wasn't classical or church music.  And a few kids songs CDs.  The rest has left the building.)


12.  Our days seemed calmer, less rushed.  We got more things done and had more free-time than we had previously.  It almost felt like we'd been given extra hours in the day.


My husband and I are discussing when and if the TV and Wii ever come back.  I've been so happy with the State of the Union, that I'm ready to get rid of them!!!!  We can always watch a select movie or two on the computer if we REALLY had to.  


And the Wii is just a trouble maker, in my opinion.  We originally got it so they could get some exercise during the scorchingly hot Texas summer days.  But they weren't getting that much exercise.  And if one boy was doing a "workout" while the others did schoolwork, well, those doing schoolwork always ended up in the room with the Wii and then they'd get in trouble, blah, blah, blah.  (The Wii Active workout is AWESOME, but I'm not sure I want to keep the huge TV and the Wii just for that.  All the other garbage comes with it then.)


The thing that concerns me most with the Wii though is how they obsess about when they'll get to play.  They count days, watch the calender, ask repeatedly about when they'll be able to play, plan what they'll play.  It's non-stop.  Instead of reading or playing they talk Wii ALL THE TIME.  It's been wonderful to hear them actually talking about other things, and doing other things.  If we kept the Wii "only for Saturday" they would (and have) spend all week waiting for it.  If the Wii was "once a month" all their time and energy would be spent waiting, planning, discussing, worrying about that one day a month.


So, we're trying to figure out where to go from here.  It's a hard thing to be different from everyone else.  To be the only people around without a TV or a video gaming system.  Peer pressure is an awful way to make decisions for my family....sadly it does play a part though.  


My husband and I are discussing phrases like "intentional parenting", "courageous parenting", "parenting is not a popularity contest", "creating a refuge from the world", "stand for what is right at all times and in all places" and others. 


I'll let you know what we decide.

Sad news

My son would like me to let you know that our bird passed away on Friday.  It has been an extremely difficult time, but we've had some good conversations.

We only had her for two weeks and she had to go to the vet twice during that time.  The last time she was there for 4 days.  We brought her home Thursday night, and we found her dead Friday morning.  It has been harder than it needs to be because the pet store was exceptionally rude and made very unkind accusations.  It's made the grieving process difficult, especially for me.

We loved that little bird and she had the sweetest personality.  My 4-year-old is positive that Heavenly Father and Jesus are taking care of her and we'll get her back after the resurrection.  He is very concerned, however, that Heavenly Father will be sad without her, even though He has millions of birds, so "we're going to share".

The son who owned Brittney was watching some of our church leaders talk when he started crying.  He said that he understood then how Jesus had suffered for all our pain, that He even knew how it felt to have your pet die and "that Jesus knows how much I miss Brittney and how much it hurts."  I'm so glad he has the Atonement to help him through the sadness.

We've decided not to get another bird for right now.  We need some time.

The Newest Member of the Family

Last Sunday we had a birthday.  My first-born son turned 10.  I now have two ten-year-olds.  And that is making ME feel old.

For his birthday he received quite a bit of money.  We told him he couldn't buy any new Wii games unless they were "active" games.  We also said no to lots of little toys.  He decided to save up for the new Hogwarts Lego Castle.  But then.....

....he remembered that he really, really wanted a chicken for a pet, but the military housing office won't allow 'undomesticated' animals (don't even get me started). 

The next best thing was a bird.  So we headed to the pet store and looked at parakeets and cockatiels.  We came home with this lovely little girl.  

Her name is Brittney.  She's a baby cockatiel.  She's really nice and is learning to "step up" and be held.  At times she is fiesty, but she's quickly becoming a boy's best friend.

He wants to thank all the grandparents who gave him the money.  He's very happy with his new bird.  And I'm happy that I'm not the only girl in the house!!!!

Happy (Belated) 4th Birthday

We just returned from a whirlwind vacation - we were gone for a month and hit 6 states.  While we were traveling my baby turned 4.  I didn't have access to my pictures of him, so I didn't post about it, but now I'm home and want the whole world to know what a great kid he is and what a blessing he is in our lives!

He was born 7 weeks early.  We were eating dinner one night when I peed my pants.  I was mortified (we had company over).  I sat there trying to figure out how to gracefully leave the room when I wet my pants again.  I could not believe that I had done it again and was even more at a loss to figure out what to do.  Then a huge gush went all over and it hit me that my water had broke.  I'm sort of slow about things like that.

We dropped the 3 older boys off at a friend's house (who told me to "cross my legs") then rushed to the hospital, hoping we could keep him 'inside' for a while longer.  My husband told me to "Cowboy Up" during an especially painful contraction which came as we hit a pothole during 80 mph.  I must admit that while I have a pretty good sense of humor, I do NOT have one while delivering babies.

The doctors determined that I had lost too much fluid so they were going to let me try a v-bac, when another doctor ran in and yelled, "We're taking him now."  Something on the monitor didn't look good.  We found out later his cord had prelapsed.

I was rushed into surgery, but it took 45 minutes to get him out, due to an excessive amount of scar tissue from my previous c-section.  When they pulled him out my husband said, "He's blue, and he's not breathing."  Then he left the room with the nurse and my son.  No mother, ever, wants to hear those words.

I lay on that bed praying like I'd never prayed before.  After 15 minutes they told me he was fine but needed to go straight to NICU.  I lay on that bed for another 45 minutes, still praying because they couldn't get me to stop bleeding.

At midnight that night I was allowed to see him - well, his toes.  He was hooked up to all sorts of machines so his bed couldn't be moved and I was still flat on my back so we couldn't get my bed in close enough to see him.  I couldn't even touch him.  I couldn't hold him for 3 days because of all the tubes.

The next 3 weeks were a roller coaster.  We drove back and forth to the hospital 6 times a day, and some nights and I still had to care for my 3 young sons.  The nurses were wonderful.  He was a big boy for NICU, weighing 6 pounds, 9 ounces.  He had a full, thick head of hair that they loved to part.  He was by far the biggest kid there.  He just couldn't breathe very well.  They told me later that if he'd stayed inside me much longer, he would not have made it.  I'm thankful now that he was premature, but at the time I didn't understand it.  The Lord knows what He's doing.

We had some wonderful angels watching over us - one friend watched my boys for every doctor's appointment leading up to his birth.  She watched them 3 days a week, for up to 8 hours a day.  Because the pregnancy wasn't going well I had LOTS of doctor's appointments, and often had to stay for extended monitoring.  She cheerfully watched them and even made me dinner to take home on the long days.

Another friend called the first night I got home from the hospital, without my baby, to see what I needed.  I confessed that I really needed a duel breast pump and couldn't get one that night because everything was closed.  She had one at home that I was able to use right away.  Bless her for listening to the prompting to call that night.  She will never truly understand how much that eased my aching mommy heart.

One sweet lady brought me a bag full of activities and snacks so that my boys would be entertained during the long hours they sat in the hospital waiting rooms.

Someone anonymously gave us money to pay for gas as we drove back and forth to Omaha.

And many people brought meals.  And paper plates so I wouldn't have to do dishes.

My baby is now 4.  He has no delays or problems of any kind.  He acts like the youngest of 4 boys and loves to wrestle and run and climb.  He has no fear and has the scars and bruises to show for it.  He is loving and affectionate and regularly hugs me and tells me he loves me.  He makes us laugh.  He makes us roll our eyes in frustration.  But he is so very wonderful and so very mine.  We hold him tight and cherish every moment we have and thank the Lord for modern medicine and good friends.

One more thought....I sometimes think that service projects are dumb and a waste of time that I could spend doing something else.  I hate making little quilts and filling baggies full of "stuff".  Well, thought, hated.  The night we went into his room to see him for the first time, there was a quilt there, donated by some church group for those babies who came before their parents were ready.  I bawled my guts out at their sweet gesture and felt comforted at a very dark hour.  So make as many little quilts as you can, dear sisters.  It does mean a great deal to those who receive them.

The logic of a 3-yr-old

As we sat down to dinner last night my 3-yr-old pointed to the enchiladas on the table and said, "I don't like that. It tastes yucky and I hate it. What is it? I hate it."

I replied, "You don't even now what it is. How can you hate something if you don't even know what it is?"

"Because they aren't brownies," was the response.

He had me there.

I can never get a 'good' picture of him because he always has to make some sort of silly face.

Mother's Day Mayhem

Two fun stories about Mother's Day. My 6-yr-old has his first loose tooth and is beyond excited about it. We had friends over for dinner and the boys were off playing when my son ran up to me, literally jumping up and down with joy. "My tooth came out! My tooth came out! I lost my first tooth! Josh pulled it out with the cape."

Yes, his friend had put a cape in my son's mouth and yanked really hard in an effort, conceived by both of them, to get the tooth out. It worked and the tooth went flying. We were crawling around on our hands and knees for 15 minutes trying to find the tiny thing.

His older brothers helped him decorate the envelope for the Tooth Fairy. It read, "Ten bucks please. Will pay you back with interest."

My mom told me the next story about one of my sisters. She is trying to potty train her 3-yr-old son with some success. He'll pee in the toilet, but prefers not to poop. Such is his aversion to pooping in the toilet that he hadn't done any since Thursday and was clenching his butt cheeks tightly to make sure nothing came out.

Well, a big part of the family was over at my mom's for dinner when my nephew decided he couldn't take it any more and yelled that he needed to go NOW. My sister ran him into the bathroom where he exploded all over. She had to change him then clean up the mess. He was so keyed up from all the excitement that he wet his pants so she changed him again, thus running out of clean clothes for him. She handwashed everything and threw it in the dryer while he sat naked on a chair. Then he pooped on that chair. She had to clean it up. Another 20 or so minutes later and he proudly announced that he wanted to poop in the toilet. And did. Mom estimated that my sister spent over an hour cleaning up poop.

Happy Mother's Day to you all, especially those moms who are potty training!

A serious conversation with a 6-yr-old

Today at lunch my 6-yr-old asked, very seriously, "Mom, what does troll snot look like?" After thinking carefully about this I replied that I thought 'it looked like his snot, only bigger and slimier'.

He replied, "That sounds right. Except I think the snot is the same color as the troll. So if it's a blue troll he has blue snot." He happily ate his sandwich and went on with his day, having solved one of the world's longest unanswered and most important questions.

I love raising boys.